Dad's Own Oracle

byron_hurt_and_dtr.jpgNearly every time I ask a father of a daughter if he’s learned anything from having a daughter, the answer is “Yes!”

What’s striking about having a daughter is her very candid, heart-felt comments. With your spouse, there’s always a kind of sense of caution or carefulness. You have to avoid treading on the other person’s psychology too much; you’ve got to live with them. There’s kind of an implicit contract there.

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Silence of Father's Day

Kaya_and_Daddy1.jpgThis Fathers Day, remember that men today long to have good relationships with their children. But there have been generations of silence about what it means to be a father. We didn’t hear our own dads talk about it.

At my fathering workshops the most moving moment is when I ask, ‘How many of you feel like you’ve been changed as a man by having this daughter? Stand up if you can tell me one or two or three things that are different for you.’

Everyone in the room stands.

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Oh, The Places You'll Go as a Dad

There are so many extraordinary ordinary ways that we dads & stepdads can love and respect and honor our children.

Get a load of this dad's 13-year effort.

Enjoy the richness and potential of being a dad!

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Heaven on Earth

Over the past few days, my fellow stay-at-home dad Oren Miller told the dad blogging community that he has cancer--and something else we all could use.



On Friday, 5/30/14, I found out I had a Stage 4 lung cancer. People in my condition have about a year to live on average, and treatment is now limited to making the next year more bearable. There are other options that may be discussed later, including experimental treatments, and I'm staying optimistic, but frankly, I think I know where I stand.

4 years ago, in the summer of 2010, we were at Bethany Beach, and everyone was having a great time. Our family and some friends were building sand castles, going in and out of the water, and just relaxing in general--everyone except anxious old me. I had hundreds of unread emails and dozens of ideas for blog posts I didn't have time to write, and I was surrounded by too much sand and not enough coffee. I tried to pretend I was having a good time, but people could see I was out of my comfort zone, and worse, that I didn't want to be there.

It was only on the drive back home that I had the epiphany. It was only on the drive back that I realized what I had been missing out on. It was only on the drive back that I realized I had been experiencing the biggest tragedy of human existence: I was having the time of my life, and I didn't even know it.

That was a good day, since once you make that decision, man... You're in Heaven every single second of your life. And it went on and on, and things only got better, because I made a conscious decision one summer day, on the drive home from Bethany Beach, and was able to repeat that decision subconsciously from that moment on.

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The Company of Men

I have a friend who grew up on a Midwest farm; I'l call him Gene. As a young boy, Gene and his father were visiting their neighbor’s farm, and my friend wandered by himself into the barn. He accidentally knocked over an unlit kerosene lamp.

When the neighbor found the broken lamp, Gene said he didn’t know how it happened.

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