What are the unintended consequences of spending more than 20 years discussing and writing about men who have children and/or stepchildren? I have to set aside some of my expectations when sitting down to talk fathering with another dad.
What I think is irrelevant might be central for him; a conversation I find stumbling and disjointed might be the first time he’s ever spoken to another father about being a dad – and those words might amount to great eloquence for him. Even a halting discussion on fathering can lay a foundation for more interesting and personal talk down the road. It’s slow going, but it’s progress.
It matters less what form a fathering “group” takes than that we start talking to someone beside ourselves about being a father. Two dads willing to talk and listen to each other amounts to a group – and it’s a good start. And, BTW, we have a thing or two to learn from the fathers who are already doing the most talking: divorced dads and stepfathers.